Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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