we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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