think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize