i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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