What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's Friday. Sex?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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