My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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