I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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