Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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