Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
