..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
where are my eyebrows?
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