I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
