So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
