Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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