but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
