Pappa wants mamma naked
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
