i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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