We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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