its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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