dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
