3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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