Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
