yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
