whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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