Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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