Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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