All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
