like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
