I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
