It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
