Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
