i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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