sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
