great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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