yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
