Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
