in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
