all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
