I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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