Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
