I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
