I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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