thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
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You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I came so hard my ears popped.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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