Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
