There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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