Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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