How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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