O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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