I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize