remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
