Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The Olympian is in my bed
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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