he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I cut my penus on the lid.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
