8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
