i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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