Whod you bang
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Too much gin, very little bucket
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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