Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I deserve this hangover.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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