This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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