She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
