I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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