I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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