No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
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Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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