Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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