Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
not ubering you a puppy
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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